I get into the shower routinely but today I stopped to wonder - "What if I stopped the running water in the bath tub and let my head sink for just 20 minutes?" No, maybe that's too uncomfortable ; I will choke on the water and drown to death. "Death. Isn't that what you want?" I was not sure of many things but at this moment I was sure that I just wanted to disappear but I couldn't do that without dying.