7 More Lies All Women Tell Men

Hey guys. As you may recall, exactly one month ago I wrote a piece called 7 Lies All Women Tell Men. It got such a big response that I feel it�s only fair to let you in on a little secret: those aren�t the only lies. Hence, I�ve worked up a sequel�seven additional well-meaning untruths you might hear from even the sweetest girl you�ve ever met. Just like before, there are smooth ways to deal with them that can keep you sane and score you points. So read up and take notes. Here goes� 8. �I don�t mind that you�re still friends with your ex.� What we really mean: �I do mind. In fact, I hate it.� What to do about it: It�s kind of like the �Bro Code,� (made even more iconic by Barney Stinson�s bro-tastic character on How I Met Your Mother). But this time, it�s the boyfriend code (or girlfriend code�we have to play by the rules sometimes, too). No matter how much I convince myself I�m cuter/smarter/all-around-better than she is, it will always bother me when you hang out with her. And it�s rarely about me not trusting you. Instead�get ready for your ego to seriously inflate�it�s about me not trusting her. I just can�t imagine why she wouldn�t be after my man whom she lost. So please, steer clear of the predatory ex. It�ll save you some serious drama, I promise. 9. �I�m just one of those girls who can eat what they want and not gain weight!� Sign She�s Just Not That Into You: You�re Patrick f-ing Dempsey, and she�s ogling the pizza. What we really mean: �I�m going to order a lot of food and pretend I can eat it all, but I probably won�t eat half of it.� What to do about it: A guy appreciates a girl who can eat, amiright? But here�s the thing: we unlucky females can�t sustain a diet equal to yours and not sprout love handles for days. So yes, we might tell you that we love to eat�and most of us really do�to appear �cool� and not come off like one of those crazy calorie-counting chicks. And we might order a huge meal but push a good portion of it around our plates a la five-year-olds eating broccoli. Your best move is to roll with it. Whatever you do, don�t call us out if we actually do eat a lot. We just want the illusion of being able to keep up. Once you make it a reality, we�ll feel fat. It�s just how we are. 10. �You don�t have to get me anything for Valentine�s Day/our anniversary.� What we really mean: �Please get me something.� What to do about it: Sure, Valentine�s Day may be a �Hallmark holiday.� But most of us in America are suckers for commercialism, anyway, so we�re prepared to give and receive gifts on February 14th. If I�m telling you not to get me anything�for V Day or an anniversary�I�m trying to be humble and evolved, but I�m still hoping you�re so compelled to show me how much you care that you�ll give a little something anyway. You don�t have to max out your credit card on diamond earrings or a trip to Paris (I�d prefer Greece anyway, natch), but getting me something small when I �don�t want anything,� will earn you major points and spare you a week of passive aggressive drama.