5 Ways To Be A Better Listener

It�s the simplest relationship booster on the planet. Be a better listener, be a better boyfriend. Bernard Ferrari, the dean of Johns Hopkins University�s Carey School of Business, mentions five pillars in his book Power Listening. He may have been writing for the board room, but I think the tips work just as well in the bedroom. 1. Show Respect With business, you won�t get the information you need if you don�t show a little regard for your conversation partner. With women, she simply wants her point to be acknowledged. She knows you may not be interested in what she has to say, but simply lending an ear (especially to the pointless stories) is a sign of appreciation. 2. Keep Quiet With business, if you can keep quiet 80 percent of the time, you will be surprised by what you learn. With women, try to avoid �fixing� her problem. It�s a man�s instinct to be a problem solver, but most of the time women talk to vent, not to find a solution. She may just want you to sympathize with her. And as Ferrari point out, �It is very difficult to listen if you are talking.� 3. Become the Master of the Question With business, leading with your opinion or stressing your point of view won�t make you better informed. With women, asking questions proves you�ve been actively listening instead of simply hearing what she�s said. You don�t have to ask a lot of questions, you just have to ask the right ones. 4. Be Prepared to be Surprised With business, a good listener is open to challenging their firmly held beliefs so they aren�t blindsided by something new. With women, a man can never assume anything either. What holds true for one of us doesn�t necessarily apply to the rest of the pack. Preparing for a a unique point of view can prevent a lot of foot-in-mouth action on your part. 5. Keep your focus In business, emotional distractions can derail a productive discussion and can keep you getting the job done. With women, your attention is our only leverage. When you�re distracted we don�t feel like a priority. Devoting your energy to listening proves we can still make your head turn, even if it�s just with conversation.