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�There was robbery at Akpos� neighbour�s house and he called 199 Next thing he heard was: Welcome to Nigeria Police Emergency Center, for English press 1, for Igbo press 2, for Yoruba press 3, for Hausa press 4, Akpos pressed 1, and another voice came thru.. For car accident press 1, for armed robbery press 2, for Boko Haram please hang up�. He pressed 2, and another voice came up�. If they�re with knives press 1, pistols press 2, AK47 press 3, machine guns press 4, bombs press 5, all of the above press 6� Akpos checked and saw that the armed robbers were with all those gadgets, so he pressed 6� then a voice came up saying�. �Oga, if your brother is a policeman, will you let him go?� *** A beautiful young woman on an international flight, asked Father Akpos beside her, �Father, may I ask a favour?� �Of course you may. What can I do for you?� �Well, I bought this expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I�m afraid that they�ll confiscate it from me. Is there any way that you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?� �Would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.� �With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.� When they got to Customs, the young lady let the Father Akpos go ahead of her. The Customs Officer asked, �Father, do you have anything to declare?� �From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.� The Officer thought this answer strange, so he asked, �And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?� �I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, till date, unused.� Roaring with laughter, the Officer said, �God bless you, Father, go ahead.�