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August 29, 2013. A Thursday to avoid. A nightmare. Over 20,000 fearsome men have been deployed by the Ghana Police Service. They are visible on the streets, brandishing muscle and guns. The IGP, the police boss himself, nursing a medium pot-belly, is busy touring the regions. He has of late been receiving gifts of logistics on behalf of the police, and has publicly asked interested philanthropists to donate logistics � in preparation for a �Doomsday�. Mr IGP, perhaps, ought to be clearer on this. Soon after his announcement, I saw his highway men last Sunday collecting �logistics� from drivers on the Accra-Nsawam road, perhaps in response to his call. In the days of yore, it was considered dangerous for the police to call for donations of logistics. Provision of logistics is the preserve of the state. In an emergency situation, individual or group donations could compromise national security, Mr IGP. But beyond careless slips by the IGP, the diaries of business executives display unusual pages. The period up to August 29 is fully booked with appointments all over. Curiously, the first week of September and beyond are almost blank. No executive meetings, no bookings, no travel? In parts of the country, the sale of alcohol on Thursday is banned. That is perhaps why wise men are stocking the stuff ahead of Thursday. That is what a Doomsday is all about, I suppose. Housewives Housewives have been smart enough to think ahead. Check their little purses. They have already squeezed from difficult husbands the chop money for September. If payday is 31st, that would be two days late. It is better to endure a Doomsday with a full belly than an empty stomach. Employers who understand body language should not ask questions of employees. Simply pay workers by the end of today; for they will be jostled by their wives back home. Goods recommended for the Doomsday? Frytol and perfumed rice. The new puna yam is ready to be picked; market women just arrived from Techiman. In tow is asobayere, the little yams with knotty edges. When boiled, they can be easily nibbled with sardine and pepper while you stick to your radio. Dry fish with dancing houseflies may threaten dysentery, but may be perfect for life beyond Thursday. Half a bag of gari plus shittor and sardine need not be heading towards senior high schools only; they could come handy when you hear behind your window the footsteps of the Ghana police. A colleague coming from Central Accra last Saturday, reported of a rush and stampede for foodstuffs and household goods in parts of the city. Some market women plan closing shops ahead of Thursday, I am told. But pickpockets were also at work, plying their trade ahead of 29th. A prolonged curfew could throw them out of work. But Doomsday probably means more. In a country that is used to dumsor dumsor, from the VRA and ECG, Doomsday could simply mean a prolonged dum, not followed by a sor, such that we, together with our democracy, could be thrown into perpetual darkness. Indeed Doomsday may simply be Dumsday. So then, why not add hurricane lamp to your shopping list. Through this, who knows? Ghana and its lost democracy can be retrieved!! Not Really a Holiday Bank counters should be busy too; smaller denominations are preferable this week. The 20-cedi notes are for harvests and thanksgiving (at Ridge Church), not for doomsdays. And where are the extra cylinders for gas? Petrol prices better stay put; any increases would be shot down, or rather overruled. The long queues at petrol stations need not be a sign of gas shortage: simply a display of foresight and domestic logic. Contrary to expectations, Thursday, 29th is not a statutory public holiday. The Ministry of the Interior did not foresee pink sheets and judgement day, when planning holidays for the year. But a holiday need not be declared. Parents have already advised their schoolchildren to be sick with effect from Wednesday. Classroom teachers themselves may be seeing a doctor or two at Top Herbal. What of bosses and employers? It�s not in their interest to raise queries over mass absenteeism by workers. Many workers will lose relations, who should be retrieved from mortuaries for the weekend. Others may be heading for injections at the nearest clinic. Indeed the boss himself may not be present, to issue queries. He may take a sick leave, but could be watching doomsday on tele. Wisdom International flights this week are fully booked; a top official from an airline tells me. But this is also the peak season for international travel, and it may well be a coincidence, he adds. Not surprising a presidential candidate or two were nowhere to be found during a group courtesy call on Mahama and Nana Addo by the candidates. One such candidate has prudently gone on a business trip, safeguarding his precious moustache, in these days of serial arson. Our friends from America made it worse last week. They threw a caution to their nationals about Ghana ahead of 29th. Has Obama foreseen anything we in Ghana have not? No. Obama�s signals are from Ghana. The entire country has been transformed into a sprawling prayer camp; and the twenty-two million people are collectively on their knees and foreheads. Last Sunday, churches were filled to capacity, and prayers were said for Ghana, particularly for the nine wise judges. God should give them wisdom and courage was the prayer at Legon Interdenominational Church. Contempt of Talk? But Doomsday could tinker with things that are sacred: Constitutions. Somehow, we collectively decided to forget clauses in the Pink Book, and accepted without question, a creature called Contempt. Its full name, Contempt of Court, has been problematic. It has only been reluctantly swallowed out of courtesy for the Doomsday. Its dreadful outcome is what could be called, Contempt of Talk. The strange creature of contempt firmly seized our dear nation, and got us all trembling as we approached the Doomsday. The imaginary law seeks to seal the people�s lips in the name of a supreme judgement. Despite intellectual freedoms the pink book assures us all, we could not even cough, sneeze or whisper about possible verdict outcomes. The possibility of a new president could not be whispered. And one could only look over shoulders discussing possible administrative arrangements, if Thursday should give us a new President. The Contempt card could be waved. Haba!!! But what of prophesies of victory and defeat by evangelists and Men of God. Would all these not be guilty? And could one be allowed to dream the verdict, and speak it as testimony in church? And what can one tell facebook offenders, who boldly announce their verdict, and thereafter proclaim �go to court go to court�. Nightmares A lot indeed has been sacrificed for the sake of Thursday. But what if the final verdict does not go your way? Don�t worry. The justices made provision for consolation victories ahead of the final verdict. That is probably why over the several months the court sat, there were opportunities for little victories and celebrations. There have been over 30 miniature rulings from which comfort and consolation could be derived, even if retroactively. If you lost out in one ruling, you must have won in another, and you could even do a tally of all your miniature victories, and pop champagne! Those rulings were built-in, to ensure an equitable share of celebrations along the way. But have we thought of possible nightmares this Thursday? What if on Thursday morning, petitioners, respondents, judges and all, after all this toil, get stranded at the entrance of the Supreme Doors? The security man keeping custody of the keys brought the wrong keys. He attended an all-night service and absent-mindedly dropped the jingling keys in the collection bowl, and rather took along those of the church elder. Well, during a well-timed strike action planned nationwide by judicial workers, be prepared for an epidemic of absent-mindedness. And finally� What if in reading the Final Verdict itself, Justice William stops after two pages or so, wipes sweat off his face, and, looking totally confused, finally confesses, �Uhm uhm��Ladies and gentlemen, Uhm uhm What is happening today? This is not the verdict I edited this morning� who did this, where is the verdict�.where is the verdict I edited? All this simply boils down to one Traffic Sign for all: Doomsday Ahead: Drive Like a Tortoise.