How To Cope After A Miscarriage

ACCORDING to the WebMD newsletter, a miscarriage is the loss of a foetus before the 20th week of pregnancy. The medical term for a miscarriage is spontaneous abortion, but the condition is not an abortion in the common definition of the term. About 15 per cent of recognised pregnancies will end in a miscarriage. More than 80 per cent of miscarriages occur within the first three months of pregnancy, but miscarriages are less likely to occur after 20 weeks gestation; these are termed late miscarriages. Symptoms and causes Symptoms of a miscarriage include bleeding which progresses from light to heavy, severe cramps, abdominal pain, fever, weakness and back pain. If you are pregnant and experience the symptoms listed above, contact your obstetric healthcare provider for immediate attention. He or she will tell you to come into the office or go to the emergency room. The causes of miscarriage are not well understood. Most miscarriages that occur in the first trimester are caused by chromosomal abnormalities in the baby. Chromosomes are tiny structures inside the cells of the body which carry many genes. Genes determine all of a person's physical attributes, such as sex, hair and eye colour, and blood type. Most chromosomal problems occur by chance and are not related to the mother's or father's health. Miscarriages are also caused by a variety of other factors, including infection, exposure to environmental and workplace hazards such as high levels of radiation or toxic agents, hormonal problems, uterine abnormalities, incompetent cervix (the cervix begins to widen and open too early in the middle of pregnancy, without signs of pain or labour) and lifestyle factors such as smoking, drinking alcohol or using illegal drugs. Others are disorders of the immune system, including lupus, severe kidney disease, congenital heart disease, diabetes that is not controlled, thyroid disease, radiation, severe malnutrition and certain medications such as the acne drug Accutane. In addition, women may be at an increased risk for miscarriage as they get older. Studies show that the risk of miscarriage is 12 per cent to 15 per cent for women in their 20s and rises to about 25 per cent for women aged 40. The increased incidence of chromosomal abnormalities contributes to the age-related risk of miscarriage. Working through your grief Whether miscarriage occurs at six weeks or 26 weeks, women who miscarry go through a flood of emotions and TheBump.com offers some ways to help you work through your grief and move forward. Fifteen to 20 per cent of pregnancies end in miscarriage (according to the U.S. National Library of Medicine), so the first thing to know is that you are not alone. Miscarriage is not something that many women talk about, possibly because their loss feels too personal or because they feel the subject is a taboo. Dealing with feelings of guilt Miscarriage is something that happened to you, not something you did. The truth is, there is very little about pregnancy loss that women are in control of. Biology takes over and in a way, you are along for the ride. Your partner may react to the loss in a surprising way, and you may not like it. Don�t expect your partner to deal with a miscarriage the same way as you. If it irks you that your man does not cry and act depressed, remind yourself that it doesn't mean he�s uncaring. He�s probably just dealing with things in a different way. How long to wait before trying again Another common point of contention for most women dealing with miscarriage is to think of when to try to conceive again. If your partner suggests doing that way before you are ready, it is probably not that he is being insensitive, he may be working through his grief by focusing on the future. You don�t want to be judged with how you are dealing with it, so it is wise to use the same consideration for him. You need each other, so stay on the same team. The time between a miscarriage and trying to conceive again depends on physical (under the care of heal expert) and emotional factors. Psychologically, there is no set number of months to guide you like the handy �one month for every year rule� you used during a boyfriend breakup. If you feel so vulnerable that you may fall apart if it happens again, it�s probably a good idea to get some more support and wait even longer. Support can come in many ways: Through your social circle, seeking professional help, or an organised support group for women who have lost their pregnancies�. Getting closure It�s tough to move on emotionally without some sort of event or act that says, �Now the mourning phase is over�. That takes closure. There isn�t a wrong or right way to get closure. The most important thing to remember is how you get closure could be completely different from anyone else, and not to compare. Give yourself permission to do anything and everything in between, depending on what feels right for you. The amount of time you were pregnant is irrelevant when it comes to the grief a woman can feel when this happens. Never feel bad about being deeply sad, even if you had only known you were pregnant for a day, and on the flip side, don�t feel bad if you see things very logically and biologically and are not that deeply affected by the loss.