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A traffic cop on patrol one night, watching a 35mph zone on the edge of town, suddenly saw a car come blazing by his hideout. Quickly grabbing at his radar gun, he clocked the fast moving vehicle at 87mph! The officer took off after the speeder and soon had the car pull over on the side of the road. Expecting trouble with such a reckless driver, the patrolman approached cautiously. To his surprise, the driver of the offending vehicle was a little old lady, barely tall enough to see over the steering wheel. �Ma�am, the officer began. �Do you know how fast you were going?� �I was just getting her up around 90, I believe, office �the old lady answered calmly, peering up at him through her bifocals. �Why, what seems to be the problem? Shocked, the officer returned her comment, �What seems to be the problem? Why, this is a 35mph zone! That�s the problem. Didn�t you see the sign?� �Oh, sure,� the old lady returned, �That�s why I�m driving so fast. I�m just trying to follow its instruction.� Dumbfounded, the officer was momentarily speechless. �Just what sign are you talking about, Ma�am?� he asked, when he finally recovered. Smiling up at the officer, the old lady placed a gentle hand on his wrist and said, �Why, the one that said �Speed Zone Ahead�, of course!! ********************* There was a party that many rich people attended. The host had recently built a tank with many alligators, paranas, and many other things that could kill. The host said that if anyone could swim across the tank, he would to the best of his ability, grant them three wishes. Well, nobody was up to the challenge, so everyone just started having a good time and doing that �party thing.� Suddenly, there was this big splash! The host looked and saw a man swimming to beat hell across the tank, and lo and behold, he made it! The host walked over to the man and said, �Alright, you made it, Wow! What are you three wishes?� The man replied, �First, you see that shotgun of yours give me it? Two, see those bullets over there give me them? Three, show me the one who pushed me in.�